


the sun remains

by cori_the_bloody



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Pining, angsty pining one might say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 13:13:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8250347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cori_the_bloody/pseuds/cori_the_bloody
Summary: Clarke's not ready to forgive Lexa, but this war with Nia has emotions running high. Canon divergent after 3.03





	

**Author's Note:**

> **Word Count:** 1,365  
>  **Author's Note:** this was written for a touch-based [prompt meme](http://catty-words.tumblr.com/post/150138227159/touch-my-muse-touching-is-a-quiet-way-of); wrist - fear of losing someone. it's kind of a sneak peak at what could have happened if Nia turned out to be as big a threat as she was played up.  
>  unbeta'd so please be kind.

“Were you even gonna say goodbye?” Clarke asks, storming into Lexa’s room. The double doors crash against the wall, but Lexa turns to face her slowly, reserved as ever.

It’s barely dawn, but Clarke can still make out the tired lines around the Commander’s frowning mouth, can track the rise and fall of her chest as she takes a deep breath.

The thick black mask of warpaint makes her guarded eyes seem even brighter and more striking than usual. Clarke feels her skin prickle.

“You asked me to allow you space, Clarke. I was only trying to respect your wishes,” Lexa says, her voice measured.

“It didn’t occur to you that _leaving for war_ would be the perfect time to make an exception?”

“I was simply trying to spare both of us the discomfort and confusion,” Lexa says, raising her eyebrows.

Clarke scoffs, about to comment on how _stupid_ that is, when Lexa tilts her chin up, realization darkening her expression. 

“How did you know about the strike? The ambassadors were to be notified only after my army had the opportunity to gather more information.”

“I heard the fucking horns, Lexa. If you guys are going for subtle, you missed by about a hundred kilometers.”

“Well, Nia is already expecting our retaliation. We can afford to sacrifice subtlety, but we have not a second to spare. Our soldiers are trained to respond to the call of the horns immediately.” With that, she hikes a sack high onto her shoulder, grabs her sword from its place on her bed, and brushes past Clarke on her way to the door, careful not to make contact. Before exiting, she pauses. “I’m grateful you…it does please me to have the chance to say goodbye. May we meet again, Clarke.”

The words make Clarke’s stomach clench, and before her mind can catch up to her mouth, she's blurting, “Let me come with you!”

Lexa doesn't say anything after stopping in her tracks, but Clarke can practically _feel_ her skepticism.

“I've fought your armies in the past and _won_ ,” she says, trying to sound confident. But even she can hear the desperation lurking in her tone. She clears her throat and adds, “I’d be an asset on the battlefield and you know it.”

“Nia is ruthless, Clarke, and she has been making attempts to overthrow the balance of power between the clans since before I was born.” Lexa’s silent for a moment before turning to face Clarke once more. The guardedness is gone, and her eyes are filled with earnest apprehension. “She would not be moving against me again if she did not have reason to believe it would be a successful campaign.”

“It’s not like I haven’t been involved in war before,” Clarke says, stepping toward Lexa. “I can handle myself.”

“You are a skilled tactician, it’s true, but you have never engaged in proper battle,” Lexa says, shaking her head. “To bring you along would be to risk your life unnecessarily.”

Clarke tastes the bitterness of a biting remark on her tongue, but swallows it back down. After a deep breath, she says, “Fine. I would be a liability as a fighter.”

Lexa closes her eyes, seemingly relieved that Clarke’s going to acquiesce, but Clarke’s not done.

“I’m a much better healer anyway.”

“Clarke,” Lexa says, setting her jaw, “we do not have time to argue the point.”

“Good. Then I guess I’m coming. I’ll pack some things and meet you and the rest of the warriors in the woods.”

She’s out of the room before Lexa can protest, but she still hears the Commander’s exasperated sigh from down the hall.

###

When people mention war, everyone always pictures bloody fight scenes and utter chaos. No one ever talks about the quiet parts of war—the waiting and the planning and the dense, smothering fog of anticipation.

“I need to speak with the Commander,” Clarke says, staring down the guard stationed outside Lexa’s tent.

She’s waited three days since they set up camp in the frigid mountains on the westernmost border of Ice Nation territory, but her patience has run thin. She needs some kind of news…something to do.

“The Commander is busy,” the guard says in Trigedasleng.

“Let her pass,” Lexa says from inside.

Clarke flashes him a smug smile as he lowers his spear.

She stops once she’s inside though, taking in Lexa’s appearance with a surprised huff.

The Commander is wearing thick black pants and a heavy tunic, both of which have been dusted strategically with white to affect the appearance of snow. Her face has been powdered and there are brown streaks branching out over each cheek. Her hair is pulled into one neat braid that hangs down her back and there’s a white cap on her head.

“There was something you needed to speak with me about, Clarke,” Lexa says, amusement leaking into her patient tone.

“Huh?”

Lexa allows herself a small smile as she folds a map into a small square and tucks it in her breast pocket. “Camouflage is a spy’s best friend,” she explains.

Clarke’s brain finishes restarting and the meaning behind Lexa’s words catches up to her.

“You’re going to spy on Nia’s warriors,” Clarke says. It’s not a question.

Lexa nods once anyway. “We need to know more about what we are to face. Indra’s unit lost touch several hours ago due to a blizzard, and we become more vulnerable to attack the longer we wait here in one place.”

“So, in other words, you’re about to offer yourself up freely to the enemy just for the chance at getting some information?”

Lexa cocks her head and raises a single brow. “In other words, I am going to use the storm as coverage to get one step ahead of the enemy.”

“That lack of visibility works both ways, you know?” Clarke says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Please tell me you’re not going alone, at least.”

“A large group would only draw attention.” When Clarke starts to protest, Lexa holds up her hand. “ _However_ , I will have two of my best trainees by my side.”

As if on cue, two children dressed similarly to Lexa enter the tent.

“We’re ready whenever you are, _Heda_ ,” the boy says.

“Please wait outside, Aden. We shall set out in just a moment.”

The boy, Aden, nods, and he and his companion slip back out into the cold.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers harshly, “they’re kids.”

“Clarke, surely by now you know age is not an accurate measure of capability.”

“This isn’t funny!” Clarke snaps. “You could die and so could they.”

“That is always the case. Not a single day on the ground is promised, Clarke. That is why it’s important to fight. I must protect my people the best way I know how.”

“But-”

“ _Skaikru_ territory stands between Nia and _Tondc_. We have the chance to stop her before she marches on your loved ones. Please allow me to seize that opportunity.” When Clarke hesitates, Lexa adds, her voice low and fervorous, “Please, Clarke.”

She has to look away from the intensity of Lexa’s eyes boring into her own, but Clarke nods.

The Commander swallows hard and nods backs. Silence stretches between them for several long seconds before she moves for the text flaps.

“Wait!” Clarke practically shouts before Lexa can leave, latching onto her with a vise-like grip. “Before you go, I-”

Lexa’s lips part in surprise and her eyes fall to where Clarke’s fingers have circled around her wrist.

When the right words don’t come to her, Clarke slips her father’s watch off her arm and secures it around Lexa’s before dropping her hands at her sides.

Lexa cradles the wrist against her heart, stroking the piece’s face once with her thumb. The significance of the gesture is clearly not lost on her.

“Hold down the fort until I return,” she says. “Try to reestablish contact with Indra.”

“I will,” Clarke says.

“We will see each other again soon,” Lexa says firmly. She holds Clarke’s stare for a moment and then she’s gone.

“I hope so,” Clarke whispers to the howling wind. “There’s still so much left to say.”


End file.
